After a few tense weeks in our household the search has ended and we have found a new home. The past week and a half has probably been the most stressful week in my life, for many reasons.
Finding a house was hard, there wasn't a lot that even interested us in even driving down to take a look. We pretty much forced ourselves to look and with every house it was a super quick in and out and a definite NO. We offered on one house and honestly we ended up arguing mid way through writing the offer. I really didn't want the house, he did. And so we wrote the offer, and I felt sick to my stomach. There were multiple offers and we didn't get it, my husband noted how chipper I was immediately after I found out that we didn't get it. In hindsight it was a great house, probably better than the one we got, however the price was something I was not comfortable with.
Then there was this house, it had been on the market for a little bit and so we figured, what the heck might as well look. It was in the neighbourhood I wanted, and was a great price. It was all colours of the rainbow, small, and a small backyard on a busy street. We decided to write an offer and again, I didn't want to do it. My husband laughed because I was my worst client. Indecisive, panicking all the time, and dramatic. The days following writing that offer my body was in pain. I wasn't sleeping, I would wake up in the night panicking, my stomach was constantly in pain, I couldn't eat, was nauseous all the time, and all smells around me bothered me. (and no, I am not pregnant) Even at the inspection I was all sorts of weird and my inspector who knows me well wondered what was going on with me.
After financing passed I was able to calm down and my body has gone back to normal. I am sleeping, eating and not in pain anymore. And since then I have had time to reflect on what has been bothering me.
The house is small, and according to society we should be moving up, "keeping up with the Jones's" and getting a grand home. I have been more worried about what other people will say and think about the home, than what is best for our family. We don't need a huge home, and I have said it for a long time I will not take on a huge mortgage to house all our extra "stuff" that we accumulate. I want to spend our money on experiences rather than a mortgage.
Its a corner lot on a busy street. Again I was worried what people would say. Why on earth would you want to live on a corner lot of a busy street with two young kids. This busy street is right across the street from fabulous green space with 3 parks within walking distance, endless paths and fabulous schools. This is what we are all about, we are always out exploring and going on adventures and having this right across the street from us is perfect for our family.
The backyard is tiny, with neighbours everywhere. I am a country girl, I grew up on hundreds of acres of land, wandering and exploring pastures, biking down endless gravel roads, climbing trees and building tree houses all summer long. I envisioned that somehow my kids would be able to have a small part of that in the city. I dreamed that we might find a huge yard with big trees and we would go running around our own backyard. As I slowly realized this dream wasn't going to happen my husband and a friend of mine pointed a few things out. My husband reminded me that we are never in our backyard as it is, every chance I get I am out and wandering down to parks and going on walks with the kids. And my girlfriend, who has an incredible backyard, said she never even uses hers. She is out at parks with her daughter as well. Letting go of this dream, this life that I had always imagined was hard to do, especially since I had to let go of it all in a heartbeat. It wasn't something that I had time to let go of. Essentially I had to be reminded of what our life is really like, and that a big backyard is something that doesn't suit us.
Now that its been a full week since we have written the offer and passed through all conditions I have finally been able to be excited about this home. I have been to the paint store, my oldest has chosen what colours his new room is going to be, 3 full days have been scheduled to paint out the entire house, and the move is scheduled. I am incredibly excited for all the fun we are going to have in our new home and the many many years we plan to live there